A long, long time ago, before we were born, before the dinosaurs walked the Earth, before our solar system formed and before the Big Bang, there existed a monster who transcended space and time, floating through an empty void. But this monster had no evil intentions, such as scaring little children or eating plump pigs. This monster is made of spaghetti. It created everything we know today, from human beings to gravity, but it is invisible and undetectable, so even if it were sitting beside you right now, stuffing its noodly appendages down your ears, you would have no way of knowing. It controls all of Earth and heaven, the latter of which is where it spends most of its time due to the euphoria-inducing beer volcano located above. Although this monster sounds almost too good to be true, I assure you it exists. Pastafarianism, a religion based on the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, without a doubt, should be taught in Poly’s World Religions classes.
Pastafarianism isn’t a small religion. It has rooted footholds across the world and has continued to convert Americans since its founding in 2005. Although there is little data on how many Pastafarians exist in the world, estimates place the number of adherents to the religion in the tens of thousands, with more than 12,000 members on Reddit. In New Zealand, couples are legally allowed to marry in the Pastafarian church. The U.S. government even somewhat recognizes the religion, allowing adherents to wear pasta strainers over their heads in ID photos. These pasta strainers are considered religious garments as the Flying Spaghetti Monster encourages all its disciples to wear them as a way of expressing their devotion to their pasta lord above.
Given the amount of influence and relevance that the religion has in today’s society, it’s time for Poly to implement Pastafarianism into the World Religions curriculum. As a school trying to promote diversity and inclusion, Poly should hold true to its values and teach about a religion that holds very unique beliefs and values. With help from their school, Poly students would be able to better understand varying cultures, view points and methods of thinking. Solely teaching religions that are all more than 1,000 years old is no way to intellectually diversify a community. Going about teaching in this manner sticks students in the past when our present demands our attention.
In “The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster,” Bobby Henderson, the founder of Pastafarianism, wrote, “The eye patch is a constant reminder that others don’t see the world the same way we do. Not yet, at least.”
Although not everyone believes in a flying spaghetti monster that created heaven and hell, they don’t need to for the religion to be viable. That’s the beauty of the world we live in: people can choose the faith they want to follow and still get along with members of other faiths. So, let’s promote tolerance. Let’s promote seeing the world in different ways. Let’s promote learning about Pastafarianism.
In a country founded on freedom of religion, it’s imperative to teach students about all faiths. Offending Pastafarians may lead them to call for book bans and boycotting curriculum. Let’s avoid such strife by promoting tolerance of our spaghetti-worshipping neighbors and friends.
